You know, there are some thoughts people should just keep to themselves.
This is another one of those entries about weird things my students have said. Thankfully, the above comment was not directed at me.A bit of background first.
1. In every English book for Korean students I’ve seen, “hips” is always used to refer to “buttocks.” I’m not sure why this is. It’s not like “buttocks” is a bad word. I mean, it’s not like teaching them “asscheeks,” “butt” or “bootie,” right? As a result of this, when a student says “hips,” they really mean “ass.”
2. Most students think the word “sexy” is funny. It’s also pretty common in Korean. There’s a snackfood called “Sexy Potato” and a character found backpacks and lunchboxes called “Sexy Lion.” Even so, I’ve got one kid who’s just obsessed with the word.
3. I have to come up with creative ways to discipline my students. Being that I’m not Korean, and therefore not allowed to beat them with a stick, I have to come up with stuff on my own – or steal ideas from the other teachers when they’re in a non-hitting mood. One thing they like to do is make the kids do pushups. Sometimes, they don’t even make them push, instead just having them stay in the “up position” is enough.
That should set the stage here, if it hasn’t already given everything away.One of my classes has too many students. It’s impossible to keep them from talking in class, so I deal with the worst of them and the rest tend to catch on pretty quickly that maybe they shouldn’t talk. The bad ones will do it anyway. When the bad ones get too bad, it’s time for pushups, or whatever else I happen to be in the mood for doling out. This week it’s been pushups.
This one boy won’t shut up (or do his work), so I call him out. “You,” I say and point.
“PUSHUP!” comes almost unanimously from the rest of the class. (I’ve trained them well. ^.^)
The kid grumbles and gripes, but assumes the position. Right next to the desk of the kid who’s obsessed with the word “sexy.” Of course, said kid looks down and laughs at a classmate getting punished, as is pretty usual. Then he busts out the line, “Ooh! He has sexy hips!”
The whole class loses it, and I can’t believe what I’ve just heard. It’s just so fucking bizarre.
So of course I start laughing too.
This makes the kid who made the crack (no pun intended) think he’s some comic genius, not realizing he’s a freak. The rest of the class thinks it’s funny that I think it’s funny, and they start laughing harder. Meanwhile, the kid doing the pushup thinks everybody’s laughing at him.I hide behind my papers until I can regain some composure and try to restore order to the classroom. I mean, what could I say to something like that? “No, he doesn’t have sexy hips,” would result in even more laughter and take the class in a direction I most definitely do not want it to go.
I tell the kid to go back to his seat and gradually the laughter dies down.The really odd bit in all of this is that my boss has previously speculated about this kid’s sexual orientation. I think he’s just a freak (the kid, not my boss). He’s found a way to get people to laugh, and he’s running with it. A bit too hard and too far, for sure, but I don’t think it’s a sign of anything more than wanting to be the class clown.
I didn’t tell my boss about this situation, because I know he’d overreact, and try to sit the kid down for a talk. (Actually, that would be a really funny talk, since I know the kid would just deadpan the whole thing and be like, “oh, but he does have sexy hips! Why shouldn’t I say that?”)
I can’t wait to see what they come up with next….