is a strange and wonderful thing.
I had my first “normal” date in I don’t know how long last night, and it went pretty well. No, there was no “happy ending” or any other sort of hooking up, but that doesn’t take anything away from it.
I hadn’t expected to be single while starting out my life in Tokyo, so it’s been a bit of an adjustment. I’m not doing too badly, and there’s fun to be had, but I haven’t had anything happen that made me feel really good about myself – until last night.
I was meeting an online friend, a Japanese girl (woman, chick, whatevertermfitsbestIsuppose), for coffee or drinks. We hadn’t decided and since we were meeting after we both got off work, we were just waiting to see what we were both in the mood for. We ended up getting a light dinner with coffee and desserts and a great little café in Ikebukuro, where we chatted and sussed each other out a bit more.It’s easy to think you know somebody from talking to them online or on the phone, but as I’ve been recently reminded (another story I’m not going into just yet – maybe in another post), that’s not always the case. We spent nearly two hours dining, chatting and just generally finding out if we were as comfortable with each other in real life as we had been online.
We were. ^.^
She’s quite cute, and I was enjoying just spending some time with her, but of course my mind (and eyes) tended to drift now and then. After we’d finished our desserts and coffees, she said she wanted to go get a huge cup of coffee somewhere. I don’t know too many places in Ikebukuro, so we set off wandering in search of another place to continue chatting.We talked more as we walked around, and we didn’t look all that hard for a café. As we chatted, I started to get the feeling that she was worried that I wasn’t into her, and that struck me as odd. I mean, how could I not be? She’s cute, single, no apparent baggage, willing to talk about just about anything – what’s not to like?
I should mention that during our conversation it did come up that I have a “friend with benefits” that I get together with now and then. (Hey, she asked, and what would be the point of me lying about it?) I thought that might put her off, and I’d be understanding if it did, but her reaction caught me off guard. She asked me,
“Do you want another one?”
That is, without a doubt, the coolest/nicest/most wonderfully complimentary thing anybody’s said to me in a long, long time. It absolutely made my night/week/month.
Of course, I said, “yes.”
She seemed very relieved, and I thought that was cute, and a bit funny. I mean, how often do guys actually reject cute girls? Ever? But I swear, I think she was worried that I would.
Is this what girls feel like?
When I go out on a date (or even when I’m just asking somebody if they want to go out), I’m the one who’s dealing with the possibility of rejection, not the girl. And I hadn’t even considered that I’d be the one making the yes/no call with this girl. How often is that actually left up to the guy? And on the occasions that it is, how often do girls worry that a guy will say “no?”
Ever?!?
I don’t know what she saw in me – or in anything I’d said – but I’m glad whatever it was was there. I was floating off last night all day at work today, and I still feel pretty buzzed about it.
I’m not sure how long this feeling will last, but I intend to groove on it for as long as it does.
It’s just too damned nice not to enjoy. ^.^