that don’t go together.
Remember those old Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup commercials? You know, the ones with two random dudes strolling along – one with a chocolate bar, the other with a jar of peanut butter. (Not that anybody just goes bopping around with an open jar of peanut butter, but that’s a line to be explored another time.) They collide and it’s suddenly, “you got your chocolate in my peanut butter!’ “No! You got your peanut butter on my chocolate!” Then they try the mix and live happily ever after.
This is not that kind of story.
There are some things that may taste great in close proximity to each other, but that you just don’t combine. “Like what?” you ask. How about jelly and coffee? You know, you’re having a scone, croissant or other bread-type object, and maybe you’ve got some jelly on it. (Or preserves if you’re some elitist snot, but it’s still just fucking jelly.) What better to wash it down with than some coffee? But surely nobody would be mental enough to actually put jelly in coffee, would they?
Yeah, it seems somebody would.
Can you imagine giving this mix the Reese’s treatment?
Coffee Dude: Dude, you got jelly in my coffee!
Jelly Dude: Well, you just spilled coffee all over me and so what if you got some in my jelly? That shit really burns!
CD: Cry me a river, you klutz.
JD: Easy for you to say, you can still drink your coffee. I’m off to the burn ward.
CD: Drink my coffee? With jelly in it?!?
JD: Sure! I’ll bet it tastes really good.
CD: You’re messed up, and I’m not just talking about those burns.
JD: No, really. Coffee tastes great, and so does jelly – so the two together must be out of this world delicious!
CD: (backs away slowly) Don’t you have a burn ward to go to….?Which makes you wonder how the meeting this stuff got approved went down, huh?